Wednesday, October 7, 2009

The enemy is fear, its not hate. Its fear!

Fear of the DarkImage by stuant63 via Flickr

That was what Mahatma Gandhi said long ago. That was then and this is now but what he said then is still relevant now. I've facilitated thousands of participants over the past 6 years and what strikes me every time is how 'scared' most of the world is when it comes to making change happen. While these could be legitimate fears, I'm often tempted to conclude that many of these fears are imaginary or perceived threats. It's human to react to threats by thinking 'securely' - isn't it? And acknowledging that its natural to think 'safety' could be the starting point. But change happens when we move beyond the acknowledgment piece to exploring how to make that change happen.

I saw it happen at a recent workshop where participants agreed that the need of the hour was to innovate but in the same breath, they wondered if their speed & compliance driven organization would tolerate any attempts to innovate. As part of the workshop, they had to 'ideate' on a live business challenge and subsequently present it to a stakeholder. When they hesitantly presented their ideas (many of them thought they were too radical) the stakeholder heard them out patiently and complimented them on the efforts. The participants beamed at each other with pride in their eyes but this was short-lived as the stakeholder voiced his disappointment about the ideas not being wild enough. I wished I has a camera to capture the 'jaw-dropped' expressions on most participants' faces.

So here are a few questions - what are somethings we know we need to change but cant get ourselves to? Why is it so hard to change something we know we must?

What are some things you hate about your life? About your work place? About your relationships? Can you do a reality check without your pre-conceived lenses? Can you set your 'truths' aside and explore afresh? Can you check if the reason for your inability to affect change is a will issue or a skill issue?

Can you reflect on the thought that something you hate may actually be something you fear? And can you confront that fear and strip all the imaginary part away? Can you treat your fears as your enemy?

What might be at the other end of your fear may actually be a pleasant surprise.
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3 comments:

  1. I recently heard this and loved it-
    FEAR is False Evidence, Appearing Real!
    Good one Sujit, my soul-brother!

    Here's another thought, can you be informed by your fear and not influenced by it? If you could do that, what would change about how you live life?

    And, each one of us has conquered fear at some time in our lives, it would be interesting to be able to recall, what was it that made us overcome that fear? how did we do it? why? and how can we replicate that situation everytime we face fear again?

    Cheers!

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  2. I have said this to good effect to many of my friends in their times of anxiety. There cannot be any real solutions to imaginary fears or problems. It seems to have helped them re-evaluate situations from a different perspective positively and find solutions to their real problems rather than wasting their emotional energies on things that existed only in their imagination

    Having said that, we must recognize the positive role of fear in our lives. It is the FEAR OF SURVIVAL - in this world or as extended to the next birth - that governs human endeavors.

    There is nothing that human kind has accomplished that is not related to the survival threat.

    So it not fear by itself, but the way that we respond to fear that matters. While fear of change might make people reluctant to change, change cannot be be possible without a proper perception of the threats.

    That is why we see in the history of civilization that all major changes have occurred following a great tragedy

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  3. Is this not a path for settling for less? Let me tell you - my personal experience is it is!!
    Say, i have a team member who is not upto the mark; you do all sorts of things to see that he performs; It is like thinking 'ok , let him also live - why spoil his life?; This is the thinking that stops me from bringing a change -atleast on some of the important occasions;
    It is a preferential treatment in Indian Indutrial circumstances that makes this as a fixed problem for a firm; some may say - it is there in most of the overseas also they have seen - but let me tell you - it matters whether 80-20 OR 20-80 relationship on preference;
    It is pre judice, i believe - it is euphemistic way of putting ' Fear and not hate';
    I would be happy to see if someone can point out that this is all wrong , kartik.

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